One example of this in my life is when I had to learn to let a person go who I truly loved, twice. It's interesting how you can build relationships with different people in your life and care about them, but they may come and go without it really affecting you. You move on, you build again. It's the true love, thick and thin, "I never want to live without you" kind of relationships that leave our heart vulnerable to growing in faith and obedience.
I've spent many years trying to understand this "letting go" topic. I've had to let go of my very dear friend who passed away from cancer. I've had to let go of the idea that somebody owed me an apology. I've had to let go of friendships that weren't building me up, but it seemed like anytime the Lord would prompt me to let this one particular relationship go, I would "try" for a few days when really I would just look for a "sign" that God changed His mind and was just testing me. I have countless journal entries saying "Ok God, this is it, take it all!" Only to write an entry a week later saying "The Lord works in such mysterious ways, I saw so and so again today and it was magical. :) :) :)" So, after years of this back and forth cycle, a decision was basically made for me. Bam, he's found a new girl. I laid on my floor and wept. I said "Abba, even if this ends in him marrying her, it's in Your hands" as I dramatically threw away all the love letters, wildflowers, and pictures I had been keeping in my closet. That was that, or so I thought. A year goes by with no communication. Then, the newly single guy comes back in my life. Oh joy! I was giddy all over again. I had "laid my Issac down" and the Lord had given him back to me. He liked me again, my heart was happy. Then it happened again a few months later. Same story. Same wound. Only the second time around hit even harder. I wept harder. I questioned God harder. Then I began to pray harder. I had to decide that I wanted God more than I wanted this person. If it was hurting my heart more to not be with this person than to not spend time being with Abba, I needed to let it go. He needed to remind me who my first Love was, and that He would always come to have first place. What I hadn't realized the first time around is that I let go of this person from my mind, but I hadn't let go from my heart.
I remember throwing a stone off a bridge into a river on a church retreat a few years ago. It symbolized something I needed to surrender to God. The thing about letting go, is that it's your choice, and it's a permanent one. I had to pick up the stone and physically throw it, requiring an unforced action that only I could muster. I could have searched and searched, and I would have never recovered that same stone again. It was gone. We may never have a particular relationship again, or perhaps God does restore it in the future, but it won't be the same relationship. It may not even be a relationship for you, it may be a bad habit or hobby that's becoming an idol or a feeling. Whatever your stone is, once it's in His hands, it's there to stay, and the only thing He will give back to you is the provision of new blessings.
Abraham had a stone of his own, which involved offering up his son, Issac, as a sacrifice (Genesis 22:1-19.)
Basically, God wanted to test Abraham's obedience and fear of Him. Abraham responded to God with his full attention and availability saying, "Here I am." He asks him to take his only son up on a mountain to be a burnt offering. What intrigues me about this is that the Bible doesn't even tell us that Abraham said anything back to God after He asked. All we know next is that he took action. Maybe he did weep, maybe he had a million questions in his head. He was human. However, whatever he did/thought/said from that moment he heard God's voice to that next morning wasn't relevant enough to shake his faith. It didn't keep him from obeying God. Along the way, Issac was even like, "Uhh dad..we have all this stuff to make the sacrifice but where's the lamb for the offering?" Abraham simply replied in confidence that the Lord would provide. Abraham hadn't heard God say he had a ram waiting for him in the thicket in reality, he just knew that the provision was going to be there regardless of who/what it was.
Knowing who God was and loving Him more than any living thing was sufficient enough for Abraham to obey him to the point of killing his own son. His only son, whom he loved. I feel like God spoke this not only here, but again with His own son, Jesus, because He wants us to understand that He's already been there. He carried the ultimate burden and pain of having to let the love of His life go. Yet when He did this, it changed eternity. Nothing about our relationship with God looked the same after Jesus' death. We went from spending an eternity being miserable and dead separated from God to receiving the ultimate blessing of life and getting to spend an intimate eternity with the very Maker and Lover of our Soul. Abraham went from having one son to descendants that outnumbered the stars in the sky and grains of sand on the shore. Quite the upgrade I must say. We just don't know what God has waiting for us, and if we did, we'd throw that stone as hard as we could in a heartbeat to receive it. Had God been a pouty, stubborn, selfish bottom like many of us and said, "No, I wanna keep Jesus to myself, He's MY son" think of how differently our lives would be. I don't even want to. This is where I just have to say thank you God for being You.
I can't tell you a formula on how to let someone/something go. It looks different for everybody because it's dealing with the heart, which is a whole world of uniqueness. It's hearing God's day to day beckoning that requires our individual obedience. I will leave you with some key nuggets I think are universal in the journey, and I pray you allow Him to search your heart and reveal what stones your holding onto that God is just waiting to replace with new, fresh blessings that make them look like just what they are, silly.
- Be open and available to hear His voice
- Questions aren't blessin's, just trust
- Delayed obedience is disobedience
- Keep worship at the center of what you do
- Respond to any outside questions/doubt with God's Word
- Look for and trust in God's provision, it's there
- Be blessed in your obedience
Isaiah 43:18-19
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."
